💘 Love vs. Limerence: Why Your Heart Might Be High on Dopamine

Love is a warm bath. Limerence is a glitter cannon in a wind tunnel. One soothes. The other blinds you with sparkles and then disappears when the wind changes. Let’s unpack this emotional rave before you mistake a cosmic lesson for a twin flame. 🔥🛁✨ 🧠 What Is Limerence, Really? Limerence is not just a crush. It’s a full blown neurological rave hosted by your limbic system. Coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979, limerence is an involuntary, obsessive state of infatuation. It’s like your brain downloaded a rom com and forgot it was fiction. Key Features of Limerence: Intrusive thoughts: You think about them constantly, like your mind is a broken record on repeat 🎶 Idealization: You see them as perfect, even if they chew with their mouth open and ghost you for days 👻 Emotional dependency: Your mood hinges on their attention, even if it’s just a “like” on your story 📱 Fear of rejection: You crave reciprocation like a toddler craves snacks, urgently and irrationally 🍪 It’s not love. It’s a biochemical cocktail of dopamine, norepinephrine, and fantasy projection. 🍸🧪 ❤️ What Is Love, Then? Love is grounded. It’s the slow, steady burn that builds over time. It’s not a high, it’s a home. Key Features of Love: Mutuality: Both people are emotionally invested and present 🤝 Security: You feel safe, not anxious. You’re not waiting for a text like it’s a life raft 🛟 Reality based: You see their flaws and still choose them (even if they snore like a chainsaw) 😴🪚 Growth oriented: Love supports your evolution, not your obsession 🌱 Love is a garden. Limerence is a wildfire. One nourishes. The other scorches. 🧘‍♀️ Spiritual Insight: Why We Fall Into Limerence: From a soul growth perspective, limerence often shows up when we’re disconnected from our own inner worth. It’s a mirror, not of who they are, but of what we’re trying to reclaim in ourselves. ✨ You might be projecting your divine energy onto a karmic stranger. ✨ You might be mistaking karmic chemistry for cosmic compatibility. ✨ You might be chasing intensity because peace feels unfamiliar. Limerence is often a spiritual initiation disguised as a crush. It’s your soul saying, “Let’s heal this pattern but first, here’s a hot distraction.” 🔥🌀 🕵️‍♀️ Quick Comparison: Limerence is intense, obsessive, and often one-sided. It floods your system with emotional highs and lows, swinging between euphoric hope and crushing despair depending on whether your person of interest gives you attention or not. It’s driven by fantasy and idealization; you’re in love with the idea of them, not the actual human (who may or may not know how to emotionally regulate or load a dishwasher). Love, on the other hand, is mutual and grounded. It’s built on emotional safety, shared values, and a realistic view of each other’s strengths and flaws. While limerence feels like a rollercoaster powered by dopamine and daydreams, love feels like a steady sailboat, peaceful, reliable, and capable of weathering storms together. Limerence tends to fade quickly once reality sets in or the fantasy collapses. Love grows slowly and deepens over time, often becoming richer as both people evolve. Emotionally, limerence is anxiety inducing and unstable, while love brings calm, joy, and a sense of belonging. Spiritually, limerence often signals a lesson, a call to heal wounds, reclaim self worth, or break old patterns. Love, by contrast, supports expansion, co-creation, and soul level growth. One burns fast and bright. The other builds a sanctuary. 🔥🏡 🌸 Love & Light Affirmation: "I release the illusion and embrace the truth. I choose love that nourishes, not limerence that depletes. My worth is not defined by another’s attention, I am whole, radiant, and rooted in divine love." 📚 Sources: Tennov, Dorothy. Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Scarborough House, 1979. Cleveland Clinic. “What Is Limerence?” Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials, 2023. Emma T. Psychology. “Love or Limerence?” Emma T Psychology, 2024. Miller, Orly. “Limerence vs. Love: How to Tell the Difference.” Orly Miller Psychology, 2023. Psychology Today. “Limerence.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 2025.